Highly sensitive people are often the ones who have done the most work on themselves. We read the books, we have the conversations, we are self-aware and can understand our patterns in great detail. But we can still sometimes struggle to create change. If you’re looking into highly sensitive person therapy, or searching for an HSP therapist, it may be because the support you’ve had so far hasn’t been designed for the whole of you.
Why sensitive people need something different
Through my own healing, and through fifteen years of working with highly sensitive people, I have found that the core wound for most of us is disconnection from self. As sensitive children we are more likely to be misunderstood, and our natural reactions are often misread by the people around us. So we learn to override what we feel in order to stay connected to the people we need. Over time we begin to doubt our instincts, our feelings and our reactions, to the point where we no longer know how we really feel. This is why so many sensitive people can be under a great deal of stress and still not feel stressed at all.
The most effective way I have found to heal this is to work with it on every level of our experience: the nervous system, the body, the mind and the soul. Research on environmental sensitivity suggests that sensitive people tend to respond more strongly to supportive environments. That makes it worth finding specialist support that really fits who you are.
The nervous system
Working with a highly sensitive nervous system is where I always begin, because it builds the capacity to cope with the deeper work. Nervous system regulation is widely misunderstood. There is no such thing as a healed nervous system, because we are not designed to be eternally calm. A healthy nervous system is a flexible one, able to move from calm to activation and back again. After years of chronic stress it can get stuck, either in constant high alert or in a kind of shutdown, or swing between the two without ever fully settling.
Getting that flexibility back takes a gentle approach that helps your nervous system slowly find a felt sense of safety again. We go at your pace, and you never have to push through or go anywhere you’re not ready for.
The body
Many of us have become so efficient at overriding our body’s needs that we feel like heads dragging our bodies behind us. Chronic tension, an inability to switch off and symptoms with no clear cause are often your check engine light, telling you something needs attention.
In our work together we practise noticing what is happening in your body, slowly and without forcing anything. Many of us learned young that our body isn’t a safe place to be, so this takes patience. As you begin to feel more present in your own skin, trust in your body’s signals starts to return.
The mind
Most of the highly sensitive people I work with are incredibly self-aware, so insight is rarely the missing piece. What is harder, and needs more support, is feeling the emotions that come with those insights, like the shame, anger and sadness we may never have felt safe to express.
I use compassionate inquiry, inner child work and parts work to look at the beliefs underneath, such as “my needs are too much” or “I have to make myself smaller to be acceptable”, and at the younger parts of us that learned them. We build your capacity first, so that feeling these things doesn’t overwhelm you.
The soul
For many of us, healing disconnection also has a spiritual side. This is less about religious belief and more about a personal understanding of who we are and why we are here. Feeling connected to something greater than ourselves, whatever language we use for it, gives a sense of meaning and purpose, and it is deeply settling for the nervous system. As an interfaith minister I welcome whatever this looks like for you, and you don’t need any particular belief to do this work.
Coming back to wholeness
These layers feed each other. A settled nervous system makes it easier to be present in your body. Letting go of old coping patterns makes the body feel safer to live in. A connection to something bigger than yourself brings a sense of safety that doesn’t depend on circumstances. Over time the shame about your sensitivity starts to ease, and you begin to see yourself with the understanding and compassion you always deserved.
How I work
I believe we heal in relationship. We can learn ways to improve our lives and habits on our own, but deeper healing usually needs a therapeutic relationship. My programmes are built around helping you learn to take care of yourself, so that one day you won’t need to rely on a therapist anymore. All my work is built on The Sensitive Soul Framework™, which brings these layers together.
The Sensitive Soul Immersion is a six-month 1:1 programme and the most in-depth way to work with me. It begins with a 90-minute Deep Dive, followed by twelve fortnightly sessions on Zoom and a final integration session. We work through the whole framework together, including your spiritual life, meaning and purpose, and the aim is for you to finish as your own best support, with a kind and steady inner voice that is yours. We start with a brief intro call, and if you’d like to apply, a longer call to see whether it’s the right fit.
The Sensitive Soul Journey is a 12-week group programme for when you’d like to do this work alongside other highly sensitive people. We move through the whole framework together, in a small, calm group.
The Sensitive Soul Homecoming is a six-week self-paced course and the place to begin if you’d like to start on your own. Over six weeks you learn to understand your sensitive nervous system, recognise what state you’re in, care for yourself when things get hard and honour your own capacity. You get access to the whole course as soon as you join.
If this is the kind of highly sensitive person therapy you’ve been looking for, you can book a free intro call here and we can talk about where you are, and whether I’m the right HSP therapist for you.
