Care for your Soul this Festive Season
With the holidays approaching there can be sense of anticipation, apprehension or even dread. The general expectation that this time of year should be a magical one can create a lot of pressure and dissonance for many, who find this time of year really tough.
So what can we do to support ourselves through the holidays and into the new year?
Create space for yourself. The holidays and festivities often bring with them a sense of obligation and a lot to do, from shopping, cooking and attending social events, to finishing up loose ends at work or arranging child care. It is important to find pockets of time to check in with yourself and find time for the things you enjoy. This is easier said than done. For most of us what happens is the busier we get, the less time we take for self care, when really it should be the other way around! Sit down with your diary and look at where you can fit in time for yourself; a spa day; a slow morning in bed with a book; a walk around the block before you start work; a catch up with a friend; anything that feels like time “off” for you and prioritise it. You deserve to have a nice time.
Set reasonable expectations. If you know that this time of year is difficult, don’t try to force yourself to enjoy it. If you’ve lost someone or have strained relationships with family, are alone or missing someone etc, the challenges that the holidays present are significant and you are allowed to feel however you feel. Don’t add to your own difficulties by putting pressure on yourself to “make the most of it”. If you need to grieve, feel angry, hurt or disappointed, support yourself and give yourself grace. There is no law saying that you must feel good or enjoy this time (despite what the TV adverts tell us!) Take care of yourself and talk to someone you trust about how you feel, if you can.
Practice setting boundaries. If this time of year feels difficult because of obligations and everyone around you seems to want a piece of you, this is a great opportunity to practice boundaries. This can be very difficult, especially when we have been culturally conditioned to “be nice” and not disappoint anyone. A good way to practice boundaries is to start by not saying yes straight away. When someone invites you to an event, or asks you to do something, say “I’m not sure about that, I will need to check my diary and get back to you”. Many people find it easier to say no when they have had some time to think about it, rather that being put on the spot.
Find some meaning. Whatever your religious or cultural background the messages of our winter festivals can become obscured by all the consumerism and collective hype. Try to connect with the meaning that this time has for YOU. Whether it’s a time of going inwards, or socialising, a time of giving or receiving, a time of new beginnings or letting go, spend some time observing practices that feel nourishing for you. Try lighting a candle, journaling, visiting a special place, writing a letter, baking a cake, watching your favorite movie or anything that will mark the time and make is special for you.
