Examining social causes of anxiety
Despite popular belief, anxiety is not a pathology, but rather a highly sensitive nervous system that reacts to perceived threats. The kind of threats we experience in our daily lives can vary but they are rarely linked to immediate physical danger. When it comes to anxiety, the things that trigger us are usually linked to an underlying fear of disconnection from others.
Let me explain: as human beings we are sociable creatures. We have evolved over the centuries living in tribes and cooperating with one another to survive. As babies we are born utterly helpless and we learn to rely on our caregivers for everything. This feeling of interconnected-ness is at the heart of our human experience and it's as important to us as food and shelter. So, if we perceive anything to threaten our sense of belonging in our community we feel a deep sense of anxiety.
Journaling prompts:
Think about a situation when you feel anxious and ask yourself if there's an underlying fear of being shamed, shunned or excluded from a situation, family or group that are important to you? Very often you will find that this plays a big part in anxious responses. For example, feeling anxious about a work email could, when explored, turn out to be a fear of making a mistake at work, losing credibility among colleagues, or ultimately losing your job and thereby your position in society. These are extreme worst case scenarios, of course, but that's what anxiety does - it is always looking for the potential threats and worst case scenarios, to help keep us safe. Write out the worst case scenario of as many anxious situations as you like.
When you have identified how much of your anxiety is triggered by your need to be accepted and feel connected to others, begin to look at ways to feel safe by strengthening your sense of connection with others. Start with people you are close to and think of a way to spend more quality time with each of them, write a list with at least one suggestion for each of them (ie go to the cinema with a friend). Then think of people you would like to be closer with and write a list of ways you could work on this (ie ask a coworker something about them in an effort to get to know them better or invite someone to go for a coffee). Make a plan to carry out one thing on each list per week.
